I’ve Been Thinking

Did the Red Sox schedule a super-early opening day game in Boston because they believe that Global warming has already arrived?

Now that the iconic Sunday Times crossword puzzle is full of questions from television, modern pop music and rap, internet references and actors I never heard of, have I reached the age where I should invest in those large-format books that collect old puzzles and give up on the new stuff?

If the Federal government is out of money, how does the President still get to stay in the White House?  Is the electricity off?

If Tom Brady is truly immortal, why do the Patriots carry a back-up quarterback rather than apply that superfluous salary to reducing seat prices?

If IT, nanotech, robotics and gene therapy are the shape of the future, why are professionally managed investment portfolios usually structured for the old economy?

If the Congress really wants to cut domestic spending and shrink government, why don’t they eliminate Federal flood insurance programs that protect shore-front construction?

If our national immigration policy is really about inviting Nordic people to emigrate, why are we not advertising in Oslo and Copenhagen in search of immigrants who like to work in coal mines or wait tables in fast food restaurants?

Why do American private militia groups insist on arming themselves to protect themselves from the Federal government and then claim they are true American patriots?

Why is bitcoin a more volatile investment than orange juice futures?  Electronic currencies are not subject to freezes, floods, blight, consumer taste fluctuations and the vagaries of diet books.

Or more volatile than the currency of a country that collects trillions in taxes and is missing this week’s payroll?

Does SNL have any viewership West of Newark and East of Oakland?  Can anyone tell me how to get geographic information of SNL viewership?  I want to send it to the DNC so they can plan their 2018 campaign.

Final bonus question, after writing this post: Why do I feel like a victim of a victimless crime?

 


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